Scarlet Tears
by FuntomKitten
Summary: Everyone who knew him thought that nothing could break Grell Sutcliff. That he was invincible with everything, including his emotions. But when his remorse for one certain murder strikes, they're proved wrong. No true pairing, Rated T for safety!


A/N: I know, Fostered is still not finished, but, sadly, that idea died out. I won't be finishing that story for a long while, if at all. I am SO sorry, you guys! QwQ

But, maybe this'll help...? Yeah, probably not.

P.S. I own nothing other than my idea for the plot! Kuroshitsuji and all it's lovely cast belong to Yana Toboso, whom I kind of love but am not~

/

Scarlet Tears

It was all her fault.

She decided to choose me, despite knowing it would eventually lead to her demise.

She stopped dead in her tracks when faced with killing someone close to her.

She deserved to die, and I was the only one who saw that; therefore, the one to kill her.

"Yeah, right..." I whispered to myself, the white walls surrounding me only further sending me to that empty feeling I'd come to know all-too-well the past few months.

That empty feeling was realizing the reality of the situation.

It was all my fault.

I had come to her, without telling her anything.

I had sent myself into raging insanity, loving her and our plan, despite my attempts to tell myself that she would have to die soon.

I had cut her down, adrenaline combining with my dread of her death to give me that only possible solution.

I had killed Angelina, despite our promise. We would be equals. We would die together, because, as she said, without both of us, a red world was impossible.

"You were right, Angelina...about everything...I-I can't atone..." Tears started to form in my eyes, but I didn't notice.

In a rush, I clutched my scissors, tearing off one black glove.

Adrenaline was my ecstasy*, it seemed.

Anger and sadness prominent in all my features, I quickly dug the scissors' blade deep into my palm, before ripping it out and cutting in another place, repeating the process over and over. Blood flowed immediately from every cut, but I didn't care. It wasn't like I was thinking properly in the first place; I didn't even notice when my hand went numb and limp.

A loud knock on my door shocked me out of my potential suicide attempt, and I immediately tore the scissors from my hand, tossing them onto the nearest desk and replacing my glove. The whole process took much longer than usual, as one of my hands was a useless sack of blood-pouring flesh, and by the time I had slipped into an unnoticeable position, the door had opened and the intruder had stepped in.

"Hey, Grell." I looked up slightly to be shown a warm smile by Ronald Knox. "I brought you some-Hey..." His look immediately changed to a confused, worried one. "Grell..." He waved a hand in front of my face, and I looked down at my own hand.

It was only then that I noticed that blood was seeping through the thin fabric of my glove, like a leak in a pipe.

Any words immediately caught in my throat. Ronald would know any instant, and then I could expect both he and William on my back until I explained everything, and agreed to stop and go on like normal.

And I couldn't just go back to normal. It wasn't as if nothing had happened-I had killed the one person who cared about me. I couldn't just move on as if I hadn't.

"Grell...? Grell? Will you say something...? Please...!" Ronald sounded like he was about to hyperventilate. From his paranoia, I figured not only was I paler than usual, but looked either distant or near fainting.

"Grell...What's wro-Wait...What is...!" Ronald immediately, but gently, grabbed my hand, lifting it up to examine it. Impatiently, he tugged at my glove, pulling it off and gasping at the amount of blood covering my entire hand. "G-G-Grell! What happened?"

I didn't answer. He'd figure it out soon enough, and I didn't exactly feel like talking right now.

"Grell...Answer m-" Ronald's attention turned to the still-bloody scissors on the desk. His eyes immediately went as wide as plates as he struggled to get a handle on his feelings on the situation. "Grell, y-you...why would you cut yourself with your death scythe? T-That could be fatal! What on Earth is wrong?"

"Mm..." I breathed, limply bringing my bloody hand up to my cheek and laying my head against it. "We'll...be even now...eventually...don't you see? I...killed you, and...now...basically...you'll end up...killing me..." I whispered softly to myself-and Angelina-a small smile crossing my face as the final pieces of my life started clicking together.

Ronald was staring at me as if I was a child rapist. He blinked rapidly, tears starting to well in his eyes as he took me in. I had been mentally and emotionally unstable before, he knew that, but he'd never heard of me attempting suicide, much less been around it while I tried. "Grell...W-W-What the hell are you saying...?"

I didn't answer; I was too busy thinking of how much better the lives of the few people who'd been close to me would be afterward. William would get a break, Ronald wouldn't have to put up with me anymore, and could focus on his other passions, Sebastian and his brat wouldn't be so cranky when they were around the reapers...And, most importantly, Angelina would finally be happy.

I was supposed to die. That was all that life held for me now.

Seeing that he couldn't get through to me at all, Ronald, reluctantly, left the room.

I smiled wide, lost in my suicidal paranoia.

Everyone would be happy when I was finished. Nobody would have to 'care' about somebody as terrible as me anymore. It wouldn't make a huge difference for many, but for the few it would, it would be positive.

Everyone would be better with my death.

That was right.

That actually felt right; something very rare for me.

I knew it was meant to be.

So, who cares if I was supposed to be sad, supposed to be reluctant?

I was happy-everyone was happy-while I was lost in my dark little ecstasy.

/

And that starts this story, you guys!~ I sound happy, don't I? I'm really nearly in tears after revising that. Dear lord I'm a sap. X'D

Anyways, I'm still working on rewriting some of this, finishing up the idea, and having a life and starting school soon, so, expect updates to be pretty patchy and random. No guarantees on anything.

By the way, *By ecstasy, I mean the drug. You know, in the moment, it's AMAZING, then it ends up really, REALLY messing you up? Yeah. That's what I meant.

Rate&Review, guys~ I read all of them and SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU GUYS. *blows kiss and then goes to get tissues*


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